HERE�S A NOTE FOR YOU BITCH,

UNSANITARY�

THAT�S A PRETTY BIG WORD FOR SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN A ROOM FULL OF ROTTING FOOD

AND CAT SHIT � AND WEIGHS 300 l6s .

DON�T EVER WRITE ME A

FUCKING NOTE AGAIN.

Hmmm�what�s wrong with this picture? I think it�s far more amusing than it is insulting. It took her two days to come up with three super-lame insults? And probably with a little help from C. What else is wrong with this picture? Let�s see: I (and Luke) know in great detail (inclusive of exactly what substances they were carrying, how long they spent in the pokey before somehow scaring up bond, and where they currently hide stash said substances) about their little crime ridden field trip that they�re trying to keep so well hidden while Luke and I have nothing to hide. Also, how would either of them know what is in our bedroom without having been in it? And, again, have they been weighing me in my sleep? Even if I were within shouting distance of that particular poundage, I�d still love myself.

The cardinal rules of fucking with people:

1.) Never start anything with someone who is far smarter than you are. What the little girl doesn�t know is that she�s got a veritable brain trust living in the basement, while she needs words like �emetic� defined for her in bold.

2.) Never bring the thunder with someone who has dirt on you. Damaging, life changing dirt.

3.) Don�t fuck with someone who could, in a physical confrontation, snap you like a twig and then gut you like a rainbow trout.

4.) If you must stoop to making fun of a person�s appearance, you�re out of your league and much more uncomfortable in your own skin than you�re letting on.

So, I was merely amused about all of this, figuring that retaliation on my part would just be way too easy, completely lacking in challenge, and therefore not worth my time. Plus, if she�s going to go apeshit over a simple missive like the one I left, she�s clearly psychotic. Luke, on the other hand, was ripped. He immediately jumped in (before I said I was just going to play it where it lay) and said, �don�t do anything, this is mine�. He was plotting all day yesterday, polling coworkers, taking their valued opinions into consideration, and settled upon taking it straight to C, which he did in single sentence written form this very morning. It read: �It is ill-advised to mess with people when they know about your little field trip and can make your life very difficult.� C showed it to E and there was the sound of tearing paper immediately following so that M would not find it.

I got some decent ideas from my own friends including urinating in oft used beauty products, Nair in the conditioner, taking sandpaper to the razor blade and leaving a �soothing� lemon juice filled after shave balm in the shower, super gluing their car door shut, and just walking up to her with fists flying, laying her out like a fine filet. I will not be doing any of this, though, as the ace is on the table and they�re completely screwed if they step one toe over the clearly drawn line.

Needless to say, I am totally cool about spilling the legumes if I have to. So, this means that they should be on their best behavior in my presence from now on.

Other things falling into the good category: we have rings! Gorgeous, personalized rings. I will photograph them and post when we�re in the same room, as opposed to 30 some-odd miles apart.

Andy took me out for sushi last night!

We�re having sex again! We had a TALK Thursday night because he felt frisky and I was completely not into it. Not because of him, mind, but because of all that I said here. After the TALK, I figured that I had better get back on the horse, so I did. And I had an orgasm�tried and true, quaky orgasm! We even went for it again last night with similar results.

We�re going on a date tomorrow! To one of the tastiest and most romantic restaurants in Madison! Hopefully, we�ll catch a flick as well.

I also finished the first piece of the sweater I�m knitting.

There�s more, but this is entirely too long as it is, so here I will end.