Now that C&E are also living here, I feel as though the number of people who could give a damn about me has doubled. None of them particularly cares if they see my face, cares how I�m doing, cares that I even live. Not to mention the fact that respect for being a decent human being is a rarity. Luke cares, more than anybody else ever has, for me, but when he�s not home I feel surrounded, lost, alone.

Last night my brother called. It went well until he began being rude, saying hurtful things about the person I love, never having met him. I gave him what for. Informed him that if it came down to it, I may be smaller than he is now, but I would still put him in a world of hurt were he ever to lay a finger on Luke. I also told him that were I forced to choose, it would be Luke in a heartbeat. Not that the kid would dare issue an ultimatum, but he needs to learn that he cannot simply say things without knowing anything; he must think about what he is saying and how it will make people feel, particularly if they happen to be falsehoods.

It must have been shit on Luke day or something because even M was on him. He wasn�t home, but she insisted he was a bastard because I told them one of the ways in which he is playful with me, feeling that it was relevant to the moment�s happenings. When she says things like that I want to put her eyes out and rip out her foul tongue. She�s a witless, bitter bitch with little else to do with her spare time than be cruel.

The in-laws borrowed our DVD player, demanding that I set it up for them, never having even asked me so that they could watch the first two LotR films in anticipation of seeing RotK tomorrow. Being as I don�t feel comfortable being upstairs much when other people are home, my sole activities are cat cuddling, DVD watching, and internet browsing. So, taking away 1/3 of my possibilities sucks.

I picked Luke up at work, told him about my evening and some of the other things that have been on my mind lately and I just started bawling. He thought it was bad enough to tell me to pull over, but I refused, the driving giving me cause to stop the tears and pay attention to other matters. He did bring me cheesecake, though I have yet to eat it. I�m hoping that no one has seen it and eaten it out from under me. Heads will roll, people. Do not get between cheesecake and me.