Muppet called a little after six and asked us if we�d like to go because he thought he could still get us on the guest list. Several minutes later while I was running it by Luke by telephone, he called back and said it was a go. I guess the theme is that of Poor White Trash and I�m having a hard time coming up with something to wear. I have no stretch pants, no sweatpants or sweatshirts, no Looney Tunes t-shirts, and nothing that could even begin to be seen as white trashy. I don�t even have bangs that I could hairspray the hell out of, rendering them gravity defiant. Luke had me turn one of his ancient shirts into a beater for him by cutting off the sleeves and I�m to bring him both the shirt and his cut off khakis when I go to grab him. I don�t think the shorts qualify as trashy, nor do his fairly new Airwalks, but the shirt is now a dead ringer for couture of the redneck.

I don�t know how the entire evening is going to play out and I have to say that I am actually a little nervous. I don�t think I�ve ever been to a huge college party, let alone one where I know a grand total of two people, Muppet�s across the hall neighbor not being counted since I�ve only met him once and that was for about seven seconds and immediately after he heard me saying penis. I have a tendency to meet people under such circumstances. I will be saying something to someone with whom I am well acquainted only to have a word like �penis� or �cum-stain� emerge from my lips as someone I�ve never met rounds the corner. Next thing I know, I�m shaking hands with the stranger whose heard my foul mouth, and wondering what they happen to be thinking of me. It�s not because of this that I tend to be extremely shy and often come off as snobbish or aloof, I�m just that way. I suppose, though, that �penis� is a decent icebreaker word, getting all that stuffiness out of the air. �Penis� gets the party started.

So, between being painfully shy, not liking beer, and not having the threads to fit the theme, I don�t know how I�m going to feel. I suppose I�ll just tell Luke of my feelings of discomfort and have him assuage them. I�m really not in the mood for girls to be coming up and hitting on him, nor am I looking forward to being hit upon myself. As flattering as it may be, I just don�t think I want to sit there and assert my girlfriendliness tonight.

Thankfully, I've heard that this particular frat isn't of the type that has become so notorious, so I have faith that I won't be making my way down a hall only to find somebody being fellated by some bleach blonde monstrosity.