We argued over car issues. It�s looking like we�re going to be inheriting G�s car, which though it may run, probably won�t for long. It has no rearview mirror, it needs a new exhaust, the brakes are mushy, and the left-hand turn signal needs to be worked manually in order for it to work at all. With all of the pre-existing problems and it being only a year younger than my old car was, it�s bound to become a money pit in no time flat. I fell as though my feelings regarding this are going to be brushed aside, as Luke did, and we�re going to be stuck with another car that needs constant repairs and something we simply cannot afford. I�ve already decided that if we are unable to convince M&G that they should simply sell this one for $500 and we�ll pay them back if they front us a loan for something decent, I will humiliate myself and beg for money from my grandparents, and possibly, my parents as well.

I�m going to get railroaded into doing something I feel very strongly about not doing just like I did last time. I feel like my opinions should be heard, especially given that the Honda was my car and I will most likely be the primary driver of whatever comes next. But, I�d be willing to bet that Luke, as he always does, will back down when faced with his mother and just go along with whatever it is she says to do. I, on the other hand, speak up and end up being ganged up on. It turns into a seemingly three on one group berating and I flee, essentially giving in. Pressure like that is simply unfair. G doesn�t say anything when she goes into Atilla mode and neither does Luke. I wish one of then would refuse to be so cowed. Things between M and I have been going smoothly of late and I don�t want something like this to get in the way of it. I know that if I let her take charge and do what she wants, I�m going to end up resenting her. This is why I�ve made the decision to get my own family involved. I think that though my pride will take a hit, it will better than to risk an already precarious relationship. I hate to admit it, but I�d almost rather put out my own eyes with an ice cream sample spoon than ask for help from my family. I can see myself being lectured on the virtues of frugality. Me, who has been trying to live on $800/month. I�m sure that after having their fill of griping at me, they will give in and be more than willing to help out, knowing how important it is for us to have a working and reliable automobile.

I don�t want to be angry, but seeing as I get handed the grungy end of the stick every single time, I can�t help but be preemptively irritated. More so, I don�t want to be angry with Luke, especially on his birthday, his worst to date, so he said. Of course, it wouldn�t have been so bad had he not insisted on wasting his viable time with me fruitlessly searching for shoes that don�t exist. He was upset about our inability to do something special when he gets out of work at 11:30. What would two people who don�t drink and don�t do the dance club scene do that could be considered special that late on a Saturday night?

Fucking shit fucking sucks.