� 2003-05 Design and Content by Disco
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@ 4:28 pm on 06.13.03
Okay, so I went to the gym this morning and did 7 miles on the bike, almost a full mile on the treadmill, and did the weight machine circuit. I wanted to do a full mile walking, but Luke wanted to skedaddle, so we compromised at 15 treadmill minutes for me. Now I�m all neurotic about eating. I don�t want to undo all my work from this morning and it�s making me crazy. The worst part about it is that all I want is rice, but I�ve been waffling about getting it for the past � hour or so. I fucking hate this. Why can�t I work out and eat without feeling like a cow? I keep thinking that if I drink enough, I won�t have to eat, that I can fill my stomach with liquid and not be hungry. I go to the kitchen, look at the bowl of rice, and tell myself no.I do not, I repeat, do not want to got o Andy�s party tonight. It�s hot, I�m cranky and feeling very bovine, and I�d so much rather just stay home with the cat after bringing Luke his dinner. But, Andy�s looking forward to my coming and I have no decent excuse to get out of it. Luke told me to just go late and leave early if I happened to be dreading it quite so much. I would like to lie, but I did that last week, coupled with sheer avoidance and it�s not a good habit to get into. Andy says he�s just going through the motions since he�s not done with school until October, but I have a feeling he�s more excited about it than he lets on. Of course, he thinks that his new part time job programming is going to make him rich. Oh, is he ever wrong. Nothing that pays you $10 an hour is going to make you rich by any means particularly when money has no meaning to an individual in the first place. He has no grasp of what it really means to be poor and probably never will. At 21, he still gets everything he wants, never has to worry about affording gas or food, and eats out 5 times a week, easily, if not more.
I know: I�m a grump.
