Things are heating up around here and if I knew that throwing myself to the floor followed by bellowing and kicking violently would do anything of worth, I would try, but since it�s an exercise in futility, I have to resign myself to the fact that summer is coming whether I want it to or not. The combination of rising humidity and the increase in number of children screaming outside during normal working hours makes me want to kill. I may say that I want to hurt people, but I�m really very much a pacifist. I wish they�d all go inside and play video games. They make life less than lovely, having to listen to them screeching all the time.

I feel so badly for Luke. He is unwilling to admit it, but I think he�s going through some retail burn out. He comes home exhausted and pretty cranky a lot of the time. Today is the first in about a week that he�s been able to tend to his job. The rest of the time, he�s being shuffled around because they don�t have enough people on at once to cover every position and it doesn�t look like such stress will be alleviated any time soon. I not only want him to get this library job because of the pay increase, but I want it for him because I know it would make him so much happier. He may love his coworkers, all of whom are suffering in similar fashion, but he doesn�t love the job in and of itself. As if it�s not bad enough that he hates work right now, they also don�t pay enough to compensate for the misery.

They�re having a huge midnight release party for the new Harry Potter next Friday and he�s dreading it. 2,000 people in the store all showing up between 9 and 11 and all scrambling for exactly the same thing. He has no idea whether or not he�ll get overtime for the hours or if they�re going to cheap out and just give him time off. He also has no idea as to when he�ll be getting out that night. It�s an inconvenience for both of us, as I have to be by the phone at every second and manage to stay up late enough to go and grab him when they finally decide to free him. All I want is for him to both be content at home, which he very much is, as well as content at work, which he most certainly is not. It breaks my heart to bring him his lunch only to hear that he desperately wants to come home with me right that second or that he hasn�t been able to actually Do. His. Job. In more than a week. I just hope that I help to break up the monotony and sheer wretchedness of his job by bringing him his food and getting to spend half an hour with him every day.

I�m supposed to go to Andy�s graduation hoot-nanny tomorrow, but I really don�t want to. Chances are that there will be people there I have either never met or have met and don�t particularly like. What I�m most concerned about is the 30-something Frank who has a predilection for being both lecherous and rude to boot. He has little respect for personal boundaries from what I�ve heard and I don�t want him coming up and hitting on me, knowing full well that Luke and I are very much a couple and that just because Luke happens to be working does not by any means signal that I am free and easy. At least there won�t be alcohol involved. With such lowered inhibitions, chances are that I would get nasty with him. Then again, I really don�t ever drink enough to get drunk, but being out of my element could lead to such circumstances. And out of my element I very much will be. I don�t think I have done anything social flying solo since Luke and I started living together. This doesn�t make me feel bad or anything, it�s just strange to have to do things on my own when he has to work. I�ve never liked doing parties and stuff alone, as I need someone to go with just to be able to be myself from the get-go. You can say what you like about being too attached to one�s significant other, but it�s not a question of too anything, it�s merely a preference. Luke gets invited to do stuff with his co-workers all the time, but he prefers to come home to me. This isn�t because I tell him that I�d rather see him than have him go out and have fun, either.

Andy was giving Luke a hard time about not being terribly social all the time the other night and Luke simply said that being out and about all the time doesn�t interest him. It doesn�t interest me either, as just a few nights ago, he and I were lying in bed with the TV on, doing logic/word puzzles and he said to me �I�m so glad I have you. It�s so nice to be able to just sit here and do dorky stuff without fearing ridicule.� I think that Andy just doesn�t understand what it is to be content with another person, and so has to do something with someone different every night. He�s never been in love nor has he ever had a girlfriend, let alone what Luke and I have together, so I can see how he can�t change his viewpoint. We do something with Andy once a week or so and that�s it. The rest of the time we spend together lounging at home or going to the zoo, doing things that we both enjoy. Had we more money, we�d be out to dinner a couple of times a week, going to movies and concerts, but still doing them together. For me, I know it�s all about comfort level.