I have groceries and I have Buffy Season 3. Things are not so bad as they would seem when you wake up in the morning and realize, again, that you�re poor. After grocery shopping yesterday, I stuck an �I Owe Me� in my money stash place, so that when I have money to pay myself back with, I will remember to give myself eighty dollars in frivolous stuff. Maybe I can hold some of it until June (Season four) and keep Christmas going all year long. Granted, I still have fifty dollars left, in check form, so I can spend that when I see something I really ache for.

I seem to be unable to write when the boy is around. He�s home and doing logic puzzles while watching West Wing. I keep hearing him giggle softly. I felt compelled to tell him today how nice it is to have him with smooth skin again. I had grown so used to his being scaly from the allergy, that I had almost forgotten how soft he is. He�s not a rugged chap; nay, he�s basically the exact opposite. Baby smooth skin, clean, almost too-long fingernails, and chin length hair basically preclude him being Admiral Rugged 2003, but that�s how I like him. I don�t mind that he doesn�t do cars and that he�d be hard pressed to dive into a major construction project. As long as he doesn�t possess that hardcore machismo that I can�t stand, everything�s rosy. He up front about who he is and what he thinks. He�s a self-professed nerd with a love for violent first person shooter video games, math, Nirvana, and D&D.

I wish more people were that honest. I wish that Andy would quit with the whole feminist labeling of himself when he�s just as demeaning as any other twenty-one year old boy. Yeah, you�re a feminist when you know absolutely nothing about the issues current or past and insist that you�d love to date money-grubbing societally attractive women when you finally have the panacea that is affluence. Right, keep kidding yourself into thinking that money will cure your OCD, depression, ADHD, and all around insecurity and self-hatred. I adore this young man, but I wish he�d realize that he�s got more than most people ever can hope for and life is not something you can buy your way through and be happy in the end.