I cannot wait until the day he surprises me with an engagement ring and we set the day we�ll be married. We talk about these things all the time and I just know, as he says he knew from the first time he said he loved me, that this will be forever. We�ve been through really hard times in the just over two years we�ve been together; running the gamut from insane roommates to dependency issues to being so poor we can�t even buy food. I cannot wait to be his wife, the mother of his children.

I don�t want to imagine my life without him. I never want to wake up in the morning and not have him be there, get my morning hug, kiss, and snuggle. I do trust him. I asked him last night about something we�ve had an issue with in the past and, for the first time, I believed him as I looked into his eyes and knew that he hadn�t gone back on his word again. This means so very much, to be able to look into his gorgeous blue cat�s eyes and see truth, love, everything one longs to see in another human being.

I�m starting to feel that I *am* the only one he wants and ever has wanted. I�m learning that he loves the way I look and that I�m beautiful, despite all the societal pressure to look like a prepubescent boy from some developing nation. He calls me his Coop girl and touches the parts that I don�t necessarily like, leaving invisible trails of acceptance all over my body.

Things are taking an upturn and we�re on the way to being both happy and financially secure for the first time since before he was laid off. My interview was nice. The children were precious, the parents inquisitive and friendly. The husband is a pilot and the wife an environmental scientist. I�d be working 15 days a month roughly and making between twelve and fourteen dollars an hour to start. I think that would be an almost perfect job for me. It wouldn�t be full time and yet I�d be making more than I did at my old job (which was full time and wore me out physically and emotionally). I�d also get paid vacation time when the husband doesn�t have to work.