Enough of the bile.

Tonight should be relatively relaxing, despite having to go look at and bargain for a cheap car at some point during the evening. The plan is to have curry, drink some cheapish bubbly, and have together time. Last year he ditched me to watch Conan with his family and I was beyond displeased. This year, we're not staying with his family and I have requested that we not watch Conan and instead do something far more fun like have sex.

Last night, we hung out with Muppet and had a laughable dinner at Pizza Hut. We discussed national healthcare, law, and how we imagine Muppet's deviant sexual practices.

Sometimes it's hard to hear in all seriousness that someone *wants* to be with you and that they love you more than anything else. The little "I love yous" we exchange during the day aren't jarring, but the ones said in the dark and the silence, cuddled around one another are the most difficult.

He knows when I'm crying, even when he can't see me. At least I've gotten to the point where I can just nod yes and allow him to hold me instead of walling myself off.

This happened last night. He carressed me and touched me the way I like. This isn't something I was about to refuse. The intimacy and warmth of these encounters have a huge impact on me and help to soothe my fears.

No wonder I love him.