I talked to my dad the other night. I called him for his birthday and he said he was bummed about turning a year older. I don�t understand why someone would be upset about that. He�s only forty-three and our family has a history of long life, so he has a ton to look forward to. I mean, look at my Grandmama: she�s going to be ninety-two in early April and only just now started having any sort of health problems. Dad�s healthy and happy, and forty-three is nothing to moan about, methinks. The only thing that bothers me is that this past summer dad told me that if anything happens to he and Sarah, I get all of it. I freaked out a little bit because I would far rather be poor with parents, than relatively well off and an orphan.

Something that I�ve forgotten to mention for a while that really raised my hackles happened on Sunday when Luke�s parents came to pick up some stuff we had for them. For one, they always seem to think it appropriate to bring their dog, which it most certainly is not. We could lose our lease for even allowing a dog on the property, let alone inside our apartment, and we have a cat that has no experience with dogs and thus has an anxiety attack when confronted with one who can�t calm down. So, they bring the dog, and the cat upon seeing him freaks out and claws Luke�s stomach in an attempt to escape to the bathroom. They stand around making small talk while the dog gets his horrible scent all over the cat�s toys and home and Luke mentions that the dog (Nigel) smells badly. M&G proclaim that he�d just had a bath and smelled lovely. I concur with Luke, saying that the dog really does smell and M goes �Tria�s a bitch. The damn cat smells wonderful, too.�

Okay:

1.) You�re in my house breaking the terms of my fucking lease so don�t insult me.

2.)My cat doesn�t smell badly in the slightest. His box is kept clean and cats, unlike small dogs resembling Polish sausage, are capable of washing themselves and make it a point to do so more than they even really need to.

3.)If you feel you�ve stepped out of line after the fact, don�t continue to be juvenile.

4.)If you�re on the phone with the offended party�s significant other, don�t just say, �Oh, I probably shouldn�t have said that� and leave it that way.

5.)Apologize, you fucking ice queen.

I can�t really hope for step five, but I�ve asked Luke to request that they not bring the dog in with them next time. M is going to yell at him, saying that Nigel�s fine, but being asked not to bring your foul smelling, snorting, hyperactive canine is to be expected sometimes. Luke�s comment immediately after they left that day was �Oh my God, they�ve become Those People.� Suffice to say that �Those People� are the ones who refuse to see that their dog is, in fact, a dog and not a human. �Those People� are personally offended when someone says something about their poorly trained dog. �Those People� piss me off. A lot. �Those People� are idiots. Enough said.

Apparently, Luke grandparents are coming down to visit for M�s birthday this weekend. This is the second time in three years that they�ve been down. We�ve visited them countless times and they�ve never been to see us. I think it�s safe to say that they�re a little agoraphobic. I love them dearly, but them visiting sets off alarms, making us wonder who�s dying.

So, I�ve written more than I intended and ranted even more than that. I should back away from the keyboard slowly with my hands in the air. That�s it. Slowly.