I miss my Luke. We haven�t had a proper weekend since I started working. It may only be a few weeks, but it makes an impact. My manager was making up the schedule while sitting with Luke and she said she�d try to make it so that he and I could have weekends again. I couldn�t love this job or the people I work with any more than I do. I know that not everyone has the ability to just say, �I need this day off� and automatically get it. I also know that very few people can simply say that they need to sit down and then just go do it. I know this because I have worked the jobs in which flexibility is a mere dream and Luke is working one now.

We talked last night, he and I. I�ve been feeling oddly lately, like he�s not interested in me as either love or friend, but he reassured me, telling me he just feels badly about being in debt, working a crappy job, and living in his parents� basement. �I still stare at you in the shower, you know� he told me. And �don�t worry about underwear. On two accounts. It�s you I love, not your clothes. Plus, you know I�m a boob man.� Lots of tears. But promises that we will get through this together because we always have. Promises that he will take more notice of me, that he will cuddle with me nights instead of waiting until I�m too tired and grumpy to be a nice girlfriend.

We�ve agreed to open a savings account so that we can save money to pay the debt down. We�ll put enough away per week to make it to the following pay day and save the rest. My grandma is getting antsy about spring coming on. She and Grandpa are in Florida right now and she wants me to be home by the time they get back in April. I don�t have the heart to tell her that she�s going to have to wait because we still have no money but I�ll be home before Uncle�s wedding in August. So, her email will sit in my inbox until she writes again, pleading with me to come home.

Luke talked to my manager and he expressed an interest in working there. He already knows all the barista stuff and hours are going to start opening up soon. We have two high school seniors working and one of the full-timers is trying to get pregnant after a traumatic miscarriage last summer. I�m getting more hours, too, on Saturdays, so the more money the two of us can bring in, the better it will be. He sees how happy I am at the Sow�s Ear and wants a part of it. I can�t blame him at all, especially since it would be wonderful to work together. We�ve always wanted to.

He left this morning in a good mood. I think all the talking we did before going to sleep was good for both of us. He knows where I stand and vice versa. I feel a renewed sense of togetherness now. I asked him to be more forthcoming about his feelings because he doesn�t really express them and I am left wondering what I did to make him withdraw so. I get tired of asking why and second-guessing. He knows that now.

I�m making roasted chicken with onion, carrots, potatoes, and celery tonight. We want me to give my spandy new knife a workout. We always buy so much more than is intended whenever we go to the grocery store. We were just there on Sunday, but went again last night. We�ll have angel hair pasta with sausage and jar sauce tomorrow night. I bought a lovely loaf of still-warm bread on Sunday that is still tasty today, so it will make a nice accompaniment to the pasta.