The worst part is that when he�s having a hard time at work, he�s not very boyfriend-ly. He wants to entire world to go away, apparently including me. He comes home, he goes on the computer, ignores me, and then expects me to be completely affectionate when he�s ready to act like a decent human being again.

He woke up this morning and decided that he didn�t want to go to work. He came out into the living room to find the phone and call in, but found the phone with a dead battery thus barring him from calling. He immediately wheeled on me, saying that it was my fault that the battery was dead and that I need to learn to put the phone back on the cradle even though it was he who had last used the phone last night and neglected to do just what he says I never do. He dressed and left for work, knowing that I was mad at him. I told him quite plainly that he shouldn�t come home if he�s going to have a similar attitude this evening. I meant to talk to him about it yesterday, but I blanked on it, so it�ll have to be tonight.

His going to work without waiting for me to drive him so that I could have the car (it�s not his fault, he forgets things and I didn�t say anything) meant that I had to call in an attempt to reschedule the interview I was supposed to have this morning. I called and said that I had to take the cat to the vet, that he had become suddenly ill. They called me while I was asleep and said they would like to see me tomorrow morning, but since it�s a job that I don�t realty want in the first place, I�m not going to inconvenience myself by going to see them when Luke is off work until 3pm.

It turns out that some girl he went to high school with has had a crush on him for some time and she asked him out yesterday. He declined, saying that he has a girlfriend, but I really don�t need to know these things, especially given the tumult of late. If you get hit on, good for you, but if I�m your partner, I don�t want to know about it. I don�t need to be even more insecure in my relationship than I already am.

We finally got the remaining 6 episodes of Buffy season 7. We�re borrowing them from a coworker of Luke�s and have to have them back by the 22nd. I plan on watching the majority of them this afternoon, both because I have nothing to do and out of spite for Luke�s behavior this morning. I know he would want to watch them, but I plan on denying him that pleasure. Yes, such a tactic is juvenile, but if I�m not afforded any respect, I�m not giving it either. I�ve been going out of my way to make him feel better all week long and I haven�t received a single iota of thanks. Well, fuck that. If he�s miserable, that�s his problem. If he wants to shut me out, that�s fine. But, if he expects me to be all lovey-dovey in the face of such indifference, well, he has another thing coming.

I know that I�m spewing a lot of vitriol and that I will probably have a complete 180 if he calls and apologizes, but I�m allowed my fits of temper. I�m dealing with a lot here and have no one to go to so that I can talk it out.