First off, driving a hour in 90 degree heat in a car with no A/C is a bitch and will put just about anyone in a mood pretty quickly. I was fine through it, if a bit sweaty. We got to the mall, I tried on a dress and it made me very glad I didn't order online without trying first, as I'd have bought something far too big. I decided to buy the one I tried on (it's not the black with blue flowers like I wanted...they didn't have it in-store) because it was only $34 on clearance from $140. If I want to, I can keep this one as a backup and buy the other one, still coming out under what I'd have paid in a department store.

Sadly, Luke was in indecisive jerk/pissy mode the whole time, bitching about how he hates the clothes in Torrid, and blahblahblah. God forbid I find a store I like and can actually be happy in. How sad is it that the guy who helped me find the fucking dress and told me it was very pretty once on made me feel better than I have in quite some time? Luke is really not so much with the compliments and it pisses me off to no end. He's wishy-washy on most decisions and stingy with praise but won't admit to either, even when confronted with strong and convincing evidence.

After my dress purchase, we wandered some more and I went in search of some affordable sunblock. I found none and we ended up arguing over whether we should buy $25 stuff (him, yes, because he didn't want the inconvenience of going elsewhere and me, no, because I will not pay that much for it when I can go to [insert generic pharmacy here] and get the same thing for $8). I, not wanting to argue, finally said, "I'm telling you, Luke, don't do it. I will just go without and I'll be fine." and then walked off as he went back into the store with an "I'm going to." I went to the mall entrance where we had come in and waited for a good twenty minutes. He never showed, so I got up and walked the length of the mall twice more before seeing him walking towards me.

He didn't buy it in the end, but his whole I'm-a-man-and-won't-be-told-by-a-woman schtick really gets to me and I informed him that we weren't going to the zoo, being hot and uncomfortable already, and that I wanted to go home. This led to a screaming match in the car and me informing him of his assholish tendencies, like arguing with people he doesn't know over petty points and embarrassing me as a result, his refusal to give compliments when they're due, etc.

Had he just listened to me Sunday night when I told him that if he didn't want to go, I'd just go with Andy Saturday, none of this would have happened. Instead, he said one minute that he didn't want to go and the next that he did. And, when I questioned his sudden flip-flop of decision, he told me not to tell him how he felt about a thing, even though he had just said one of each polar oposite. How the fuck am I supposed to know when to take him at his word when he clearly can't make a decision? It's really no wonder he never fucking proposed to me. He was probably too overwrought with deciding whether he should or not to just fucking do it.

I know he's been this way his whole life. His mom told me that when he was little he would cry when given the simplest of choices and, unable to decide, he'd just crumble.

So, now I'm left holding the bag and I don't know quite what to do. Is it worth staying with someone who won't stand up and do what I need him to, something which drives me completely out of my gourd and infuriates me even if we do love each other very much and everything goes smoothly so long as the decisions are easily made by me?